Culo e Camicia

"Hello", I said.  "Eh come stai bella faccia da triangolo?".  Even after two years I knew exactly who this was calling me.  There is only one person in the world who still calls me triangle face.  We hadn't spoken in a few years, but that shouldn't change the fact that he insults me every time he greets me on the phone.  Our conversation consisted of the usual lamenting of our lives and commiserating on how superficial we are.  When I tried to be polite and apologize for boring Francesco with my italian, he remarked that my italian was fine and it was more what I was talking about that was boring him.

My niece made a comment today about the poor quality of the food that she was forced to eat.  Her wise mother responded, 'Isn't that lovely?', to which my niece replied, 'No, it's not at all.  Why would you say that?'.  I suggested to Cracker that she get used to the sardonic tone.

If you were to ask my best friend what my best qualities are I already know what he'd reply.  'Emotionally needy.'  I once said that in an interview.  They didn't call me back.

When my brother's girlfriend dumped him I thought it prudent to send him a card on Valentine's Day.  It was a Winnie the Pooh card with he and Piglet dancing on the front.  I wrote inside, 'You are twice as gay as this card.'

It seems divine providence has brought us all together.  If you're reading this perhaps you know the feeling.

Just like I was meant for you.