Blogging is for melancholy losers

Just to preface this entire experiment I want to say blogging is for losers.  Or girls who love twilight, which is synonymous with loser.   Yes that's right, I'm blogging that. In our techno savy world we're all so eager to go online and reach out and have 500 hundred friends on facebook.  A blog is the last desperate attempt for someone to feel like they're important, as if other people really want to know what you think.  You're not special, you're teacher in the 3rd grade was wrong.  She lied to you because she wanted to lie to herself.  She wasn't special either.  Nobody cares what you have to say, and the people that do are probably laughing at you behind your back.  But is it really behind your back though if you broadcast some of your deepest emotions to the world?  It's like laughing at someone who incidentally does a belly flop at the pubic pool.  Only in this case the entire world is at the pool and your belly flop is going to be much more emotionally scarring.

Perhaps I should make a footnote that blogs do have their useful aspects.  I know there are blogs about products, fashion, design, even sports that are widely read and respected.  (To my actual friends reading this, now is the time to feel better about your blog.  The only question is, are you really my friend?  Or is this about your blog?)

But the blog that we all know and hear about is: Hi, I'm Cindy and I love love love blogging. (Insert over used emoticon of your choice here.)

This one means: I'm probably a hooker.

As further proof of this, I myself have started a blog.  I live in my parents basement.  I'm unemployed.  I could unhook a bra better at 18 than I can now. So here you are reading it world. (Yes, that's you who mistyped 'I'm a atheist')  I dare say that I fit in now with the married girls who have nothing better to do with their time now that their single friends have deserted them.  Don't worry girls, they'll read your blog and still be envious.

So to further doom my life, today I started my blog.  Don't look for happiness here.  There won't be any catchy phrases, or Lombardy quotes.  If you need to smile, albeit ignorantly, about those tough days eat a Dove chocolate and read the pretty pink writing on the foil.  You can still soar higher, but just realize the air is getting thin.  I'm not a pessimist, no, I'm a realist.